You do not empower women by blaming the victim.
[TW FOR RAPE, RAPE CULTURE, VICTIM BLAMING ETC]
So some coworkers of mine today at work got into a discussion of Kobe Bryant allegedly raping a woman. One coworker thought it was suspicious that the charges were dropped. Another thought it was interesting that there was no settlement. Another argued that he wouldn’t have done that and risk his career, especially if he has so much sex available to him with the amounts of women “throwing themselves” at him. And then another said that as women, we can empower ourselves and control the situation.
Let me make something very clear. You CANNOT empower women by blaming the victim. Controlling the situation, calling the shots, can be empowering. But if you think that controlling the situation and calling the shots will prevent you from getting raped, I have news for you; it won’t. Rape is about control, so it doesn’t matter how you steer the conversation or try to call the shots. The rapist has taken control. That’s what rape does. And this whole idea that if you had somehow changed YOUR course of action, as a victim, then maybe things would have turned out differently, that is false. Doesn’t matter what you said to the rapist. It doesn’t matter what you did. If they want to take control of the situation and rape you, that’s what’s going to happen. If you think that you could have somehow prevented it by doing or saying something differently, you’re wrong. That’s putting more blame on the victim and less on the rapist. Reducing rapists again, to nothing more than animals who are slaves to their hormones. The more an attitude like that continues to perpetuate that sense of entitlement to rapists, the more rape will happen. Unless we start putting the blame where the blame should be, with the rapist, then we will continue to live in the vicious cycle. That’s why it’s so important to call out rape apology, victim blaming and rape jokes. People need to stop their line of thinking in their tracks, because it’s dangerous.
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